Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Daily Reflection for 11/23/05

"Look to Ourselves...To Retain The Peace."

"It is a spiritual axiom that every time we are disturbed no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us.

If somebody hurts us and we are sore, we are in the wrong also. We have found that justified anger ought to be left to those better qualified to handle it."
12 and 12 / Page 90

I remember being really angry when I first used to hear about this principal. I remember being angry about not being able to be angry. Who's going to tell me whether or not I can be angry? What does being an alcoholic or a drug addict have to do with any of this? Could this be part of the craziness that goes on in a Drug Rehab Facility??

I was way to wrapped up in myself to know anything at all. The point wasn't whether or not I had the right to be angry about something. Of course I had the right to be angry about anything I wanted. The point was that it wasn't worth the time or effort. Anger wasn't worth the time or effort because the stakes are so incredibly high for a drug addict & alcoholic.

I just don't have the luxury of being incredibly & justifiably angry anymore because that leads to ego which leads to the delusion that I can drink and/or use drugs again.

"The persistence of the illusion is astonishing" it says in Chapter 5, How it Works. Indeed. When astonished by something and in need of help, it's probably a good idea to go to those who are familiar with the problem, able & willing to help. In my case, it meant going to alcohol & drug rehab. Thank goodness!

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Daily Reflection for 11/22/05

"It Works... If You Work It."

Courtesy, kindness, justice, and love are the keynotes by which we may come into harmony with practically anybody. When in doubt we can always pause saying, "Not my will, but Thine, be done." And we can often ask ourselves, "Am I doing to others as I would Have them do to me -- today?"

12 and 12 / Page 93

How true this is. I know that I was nowhere close to the end of my drug abuse & drinking until I was absolutely ready to do anything and everything it took. I was ready to work the program because I knew I had no other choices, no other options. I'm not perfect--in fact I'm the furthest from perfect of anyone I know. But I'm trying and I'm always getting better to the best of my ability. Drugs & Alcohol no longer play a part in my life. What more can you ask for?

Monday, November 21, 2005

Daily Reflection for 11/21/05

Today is My Father's Birthday. I want to thank him & my Mom for the dedication and unconditional love they provided me during my darkest hours. Not only did they get me into an incredible drug & alcohol rehab twice, but they did so with no reservations about what others might think or say. That was the "first step" in my just getting to a place where I would have the chance to embark upon my own recovery.

The Lighter Side of Recovery From Drug & Alcohol Addiction

During my early recovery from drug & alcohol addiction, my Dad often provided much-needed humor when I was nothing but down & depressed. These days, there is certainly no shortage of laughter; my friends & I laugh like fools and love it.

I came across this poem recently from a good friend of mine in recovery. Perhaps it will provide a nice sentiment for someone else who needs it.

Sober Eyes

I sit here with my sober eyes
And take all of this in
Some guy just fell and pissed himself
Wait…he's back up again.

In the corner this man sits alone
And talks to his shot of Jim Beam
I've lost count of how many he's had
Fifteen or twenty it seems.

One girl is dancing and I'm afraid
Her mirror is telling her lies
For her skirt is struggling to contain
Her "telephone pole-like" thighs.

Has caused her eyes to glaze
Her belt should be given overtime
Or at the very least, a raise.

The alcohol that she's consumed
Has caused her eyes to glaze
Her belt should be given overtime
Or at the very least, a raise.

There goes the drunk guy in for the kill
He wants to join in her dance
He hopes she's as drunk as he is
For maybe then, he'd have a chance.

"Play me some Skynard", she screams to the band
And he can't believe what he heard.
For this woman seemed to pierce his soul
By just yelling out, "Freebird!"

She sees him, she smiles, she pulls him in close
For a mate this woman does seek
They'd be dancing cheek to cheek.
It's closing time now and he gives her "the look"
She nods her head yes to the man
They leave the bar, and walk under the stars
Together, hand in hand.

And as I drive home, I can't help but think
As that trailer is rockin' tonight
What will they think of each other…
When they're sober and in the daylight?

Heck, maybe they'll go get married
And maybe they won't say goodbye
They might get matching airbrushed t-shirts
To go with his shiny black eye.

But whatever happens, I'm just glad
That tonight I am alcohol free
Or else someone might be telling a story
About that same lady and me.

Thanks bud, *AP